Dealing with the Noise
It seems everyone and their pets are somehow the expert on your own college admission process. Growing up in the community I did, many of our family friends went off to prestigious schools and majored in some STEM field.
It's understandable that the people around you have firsthand experiences that they feel the need to share. Some of the advice I've received in my first three years of high school helped me a lot in my senior year. For example, as a freshman, I took the advice of one senior to heart and started my essays really early after she told me of the stress she experienced trying to juggle her senior year coursework with the demands of college applications (she's at UC Berkeley right now).
While information can be useful, advice about the college admission process is unreliable 99% of the time. Too much information can seriously clutter your brain. As corny as this sounds, you need to stay authentic to yourself. Do what you think is right. If you don't like the advice someone gives you, you are under no obligation to accept it. Colleges don't like carbon copies. If you follow someone else's journey, then is it really yours? Do you really think you actually benefited from an experience that you'll only get to go through once in your life? More often than not, you won't stand out, and that's probably the biggest mistake you could make in this process.
In general, unnecessary advice just remains as white noise. If someone persists, however, you'll need to decide how you're going to handle the situation. When one parent insisted I have to atone for her son's mistakes by visiting as many colleges as I could for the sake of accountability (not to mention trying to scare me into thinking I would never get into any college if I didn't visit to all of them), I firmly told her I wouldn't accept her "advice" and physically removed myself from the conversation. I was uncomfortable and felt attacked for the way I was calmly handing my application process without any justification for me to receive that kind of offense.
Those kind of toxic people can be absolutely degrading and are what make the college application process awful. If I could had just found a way to ignore everyone unless I initiated a conversation about the college application process, I wouldn't have had to go through such stress. The college application process is special, but it also is just daily life. In order to stay calm, you need to normalize the process. Having people that only feed the fire of stress instead of trying to tamp it down are not going to be of use to you.
It's okay to tell your parents that you're not comfortable with them interfering with the process. If they threaten money (something my parents haven't brought in for college, but have for other things), bring in a school counselor. Counselors will tend to understand that you need your personal space, so they'll certainly advocate for you. You're the one applying for college. Not your family, your friend, or anyone else. If you need help, don't be afraid to ask for it. Just don't feel obligated to accept unsolicited advice. Advice is just advice. If it bothers you, tell them. If it doesn't, then just don't take it.
Try this post as you're first exercise. I'll be grateful if you accept this post (thank you for reading to the end, by the way), but there's no need for you to take what I'm telling you (apologies in advance if you find offense with this post). I wish you the best of luck no matter what.
It's understandable that the people around you have firsthand experiences that they feel the need to share. Some of the advice I've received in my first three years of high school helped me a lot in my senior year. For example, as a freshman, I took the advice of one senior to heart and started my essays really early after she told me of the stress she experienced trying to juggle her senior year coursework with the demands of college applications (she's at UC Berkeley right now).
While information can be useful, advice about the college admission process is unreliable 99% of the time. Too much information can seriously clutter your brain. As corny as this sounds, you need to stay authentic to yourself. Do what you think is right. If you don't like the advice someone gives you, you are under no obligation to accept it. Colleges don't like carbon copies. If you follow someone else's journey, then is it really yours? Do you really think you actually benefited from an experience that you'll only get to go through once in your life? More often than not, you won't stand out, and that's probably the biggest mistake you could make in this process.
In general, unnecessary advice just remains as white noise. If someone persists, however, you'll need to decide how you're going to handle the situation. When one parent insisted I have to atone for her son's mistakes by visiting as many colleges as I could for the sake of accountability (not to mention trying to scare me into thinking I would never get into any college if I didn't visit to all of them), I firmly told her I wouldn't accept her "advice" and physically removed myself from the conversation. I was uncomfortable and felt attacked for the way I was calmly handing my application process without any justification for me to receive that kind of offense.
Those kind of toxic people can be absolutely degrading and are what make the college application process awful. If I could had just found a way to ignore everyone unless I initiated a conversation about the college application process, I wouldn't have had to go through such stress. The college application process is special, but it also is just daily life. In order to stay calm, you need to normalize the process. Having people that only feed the fire of stress instead of trying to tamp it down are not going to be of use to you.
It's okay to tell your parents that you're not comfortable with them interfering with the process. If they threaten money (something my parents haven't brought in for college, but have for other things), bring in a school counselor. Counselors will tend to understand that you need your personal space, so they'll certainly advocate for you. You're the one applying for college. Not your family, your friend, or anyone else. If you need help, don't be afraid to ask for it. Just don't feel obligated to accept unsolicited advice. Advice is just advice. If it bothers you, tell them. If it doesn't, then just don't take it.
Try this post as you're first exercise. I'll be grateful if you accept this post (thank you for reading to the end, by the way), but there's no need for you to take what I'm telling you (apologies in advance if you find offense with this post). I wish you the best of luck no matter what.
 |
| Source |
Comments
Post a Comment